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On & off relationships. We’ve all been there. We know the wonderful feeling of being really into someone, the devastating feeling of watching it fall apart, and the reassuring feeling of trying to put the past behind and try again.
I’m an advocate of second chances. I fully support someone recognizing their wrongs, and making a commitment to do better. However, a consistent pattern of wrongdoing has the potential to truly harm someone and leave deep scars someone else will have to mend later on in life. These are 3 quick reasons why on & off relationships might be more harmful than you think.
Showing a consistent pattern of negative traits is dangerous. It shows both a lack of discipline in the relationship and a lack of commitment to change. These days, discipline is among one of the top things you need to cultivate a thriving relationship. No matter how fine your girlfriend is, or how sexy your boyfriend is, temptation is real. We get tested every day and building up a strong tolerance of faithfulness, commitment, and discipline is the backbone of a strong foundational relationship. Also, it shows a lack of commitment to change. If you really care for someone, and that person tells you that what you’re doing is causing them hurt ANY way, first, be sensitive to their feelings. Never try to downplay someone’s feelings, especially as it relates to your actions. Making someone else feel as though they are wrong because you want to keep your unhealthy habit or practice is wrong and manipulative. Be sensitive to their mind, emotions, and spirit. After accepting what they have to say, be mindful that them telling you is a blessing. Otherwise the issue would have remained silent, and probably built a certain level of resentment over time, causing distance, discomfort, and disconnect. Remember that relationships are a connection between two people, and anything that threatens that connection must be dealt with.
Constantly breaking up and calling it quits is a big indicator that one of you (or both of you) need to work on your communication skills. Now a days, it’s become easier to just cut someone off rather than deal with the reality of situations as they come, almost as if disappearing will change the fact that you’re dealing with a real person with lasting emotions and feelings that are capable of being hurt. When people constantly and consistently leave when times get hard are people that find it easier to leave than to make it work, which isn’t someone you should invest in for your future. Each thing we build our future around needs to be solid and unwavering. Someone who constantly messes up and is okay with leaving isn’t someone that belongs in your life.
Since we are habitual creatures, we tend to learn by our own experiences or the experiences of others. With that being said, becoming used to a pattern of action (like breaking up all the time) will eventually reinforce the idea that quitting on people is a normality, and a necessary answer. It is not. We were made for relationships, friendships, and connections. As a couple, all 3 of those ideals are incorporated, and settling on the idea that everyone is temporary and easily replaceable is unfair to that one person out there who would literally move heaven and earth to be with you. Don’t let inconsistent people train you how to be like them. Consistency is needed in this world. Don’t let anyone tell you different.